Resources Ive used: Exercise Beginnings

As I write this, I realise completely that Im in a unique situation that helped me to lose weight - I don't have children. As depressing as that is for me to say that, as most who know me know that Id love to not be in this position, but its a position Im in in my current phase of life and I need to acknowledge it. I also had and still have a lot of time to spend just on myself even though I work full time in a busy healthcare sector. A commodity I know a lot of my Mum friends, frankly, just don't have for themselves. I know my busyness and fatigue levels is nothing compared to a Mum's. So Im going to absolutely do my best to be aware of my own biases and I sincerely hope that those who read this post will not hold me in disdain and think, "Yeah, ha, like she knows what its like."

You're right, I have no idea what its like to be a Mum juggling kids, maybe as a single parent or alongside a career and now Im telling you to make time for looking after your body. So I'll make this post about all the little simple things and resources I used around the house and my neighborhood to get started with exercising.

A precursor to that, let me encourage you to follow my lead on something. The first three months you start trying to lose weight, (other than walking as much as possible), don't prioritise exercise. Just focus on your food habits. I still think to this day, weight loss/fitness is 80% food, 20% exercise. Get your foundation for healthy eating built FIRST. Because when you hit your plateau or have a really bad day, I think food will be your first and biggest hurdle.

Back to exercise. First thing: don't wait for New Years. Don't wait til the weather or season is nicer. Just start NOW. I started the journey at the end of November. Around late January early February, the weather was still wintery but I started doing more physical activity. Second thing, keep a notebook and use it as a workout log!! I can't stress enough how helpful this is. I'll talk about this another time. And make sure its an actual notebook with lines spaced large enough to write in with a shaky post workout hand.

Heres what I did:

• Swimming. Its indoors, Im under water, its quiet. Its probably one of the absolute best cardio fat burning activites that is also completely safe for joints and pain issues. Plus you sleep amazing afterwards and if the facility has it, you can treat yourself to a steam/sauna/hot tub after. Calories burned. Make sure you've got a decent swimsuit (no bikini's) for functionality's sake and a pair of goggles. Since I dislike one pieces, I bought myself swimming underwear and shorts (from Walmart), a tankini top (see here for an example). Log your laps and how long it took overall. Remember, one lap is 50m. If you don't like your body in a swimsuit, suck it up buttercup. No one is going to see it anyway once you're in the water. And the other swimmers around you? They're too busy swimming to care. Unlike the gym, the pool is one of the few exercise places out there where you'll see people from all ages, all walks of life, all sizes and body shapes. Tip for Mums: Find out if the pool facility has a daycare place you can put your kid in for 1.5 hours (some gyms have this). OR pay a babysitter to tag along with your kids and play with them in the kid pool while you swim some laps. OR find another Mum friend, both you of bring your kids and you each tag team alternate weeks who plays with the kids while the other swims laps. Bonus, all kids will sleep soundly in the car on the way home I promise. OR chat with the hubs about giving you this time away from the kids while hes home. Talk about it from an investment point of view (if he wants a wife with a healthy fit bod, this does not come overnight). Besides Im sure he has something he enjoys for himself away from you and kids.

• Elliptical. Always using a pre-programed HIIT. You can find these machines at every gym, every community facility practically. By HITT I mean High Intensive Interval Training. On the screen it likely looks like a hills and valleys type of workout. Start out nice and slow and most of all, be gentle on yourself regarding expectations. I would recommend alternating 2 mins of Level 5 with 1 min of Level 1 then repeat for 15 minutes. Feel too easy at the beginning? Wait a little and you will start sweating after 10 minutes. Record in a notebook these details when you're done. If at the end you know you didn't even break a sweat, increase the levels slightly next time and/or increase the high intensity minutes. Keep the rest period as one minute always. Tip for Mums: I have no tip, this is obviously a machine you never want a child around. If you're lucky enough to get one off Craigslist/Trademe, use it in the garage or whatever room no one likes to use and lock yourself in and listen to loud music to drown out the crying/whining. Oh yeah, make sure hubs is home so when the kid/s give up they have someone to annoy instead of you :) No hubs? Perhaps a cage filled with lollies, colouring books and a snuggie with the kid locked in it? I dunno... Lol.

• Hill Walking. I was already into walking and doing the odd hike here and there so this was not difficult for me to get into until I ramped it up later on to bigger challenges like the Grouse Grind. What I did instead and what I recommend to start with is just doing walks in a neighborhood that has a bit of a hill and doing it either alone, with a friend or with your dog. If you live in a mostly flat city like my hometown, this might be tricky, but even there, there are the Cashmere/Westmorland/Quarry hills that you can practice on. I like walking a route or loop rather than a there and back again approach because it makes me feel like I have achieved my own little Mt Everest and thats a nice feeling especially when you're starting out. Below is an example of a favorite hill walk I like to do near my in laws place. It starts off with a steep woodland trail for 160m to get your heart pumping and sweat coming down then a nice gradual downhill walk on a footpath thats relaxing enough yet still works the calves. The other cool thing about short hill walks is the reward of a great view. Just so you know, when I first did this route I stopped and started multiple times because my breathing was so labored. Just take your time and DON'T SIT DOWN! Sitting down will make your legs cramp up so don't do it! If you need a break, do it will standing and leaning against a tree or something. And don't drink too much water on the way up. Have little sips only. Save the water drinking for when you get to the top, trust me, by the time you get to the top you'll think water is the best tasting liquid (and it is!) My other tip is this, on these walks, don't take an ipod/mp3 player. I dare you. Just take yourself, a water bottle and a cellphone (turned off). Once you get used to it you'll start loving the smell and sights associated with these sorts of walks - damp moss, tree bark, streams, compacted soil etc. Tip for Mum's: This is exactly the kind of walk my Mum used to drag me on as a kid, and drag she did, until I got used to them as part of our weekly routine and once I got used to them I actually started to enjoy them! Make sure you reward/bribe them (whatever you call it) with a lolly or small ice cream afterwards. In fact, if the route to your kids school is 5k or less walk that as well!

• Workout PDF Plans. Perhaps you've heard of the instruction videos/pictures of Kayla Itsines, Bob Harper, Nike+ etc. These are becoming overwhelmingly popular because of an assortment of reasons but the reason I like them is that most of them don't require special machines or one to show up at a gym. Most of them use your body weight as your own resistance. I tried a few videos by Kayla Itsines with a very fit mom friend of mine and found they were tough but the primary reason why I disliked it so much was I felt pressured to do as many reps as possible during a short time period with little instruction on correct posture or procedure. This encourages people to rush and rushing in my opinion leads to accidents and injuries. Im sure theres plenty out there (and no I do not get paid for saying this) but I personally started using workout instructions by Lauren Gleisberg. I originally found her stuff on pinterest. They're very simple, pictures clear, no pressure to do them fast, and simple short sentence instructions. You do pay for them yes, but its worth it. She designed them and they are her copyright. Best thing is the basic workout plans are very affordable - $12.
  
  Tips for Mums: Im drawing a blank here. Refer to the cage idea under the elliptical heading. Ever seen the Nickelodeon show Rugrats? Those kids spent most of their waking hours in a sort of fenced in area and they turned out fine... 

So thats pretty much it. I just repeated these four simple exercise activities: swimming, elliptical, hill walking and pdf weight training workouts. Each were about an hour or so. I wanted activites that were very different from each other, had different intensities and most of all would be the sort of thing I'd (mostly) enjoy. I started doing two per week. Then progressed to three and since then, two to three is my norm. I typically saved my hill walk for the weekend due to lack of available daylight hours after work. I wrote down what I did in my workout diary. And then about every 4 weeks I reviewed what I was doing and made sure I changed my goals/plans for gradually heavier weights, longer or steeper hill walks, more consecutive laps, more intense HIIT workouts. Again, make the changes little by little. You want any changes to be a challenge but not so horribly so. If you didn't meet your new challenge or goal, big deal. Celebrate the workout, tell yourself - "EVERY workout is a GOOD workout." Log the details and try again next time and let it go!

I hope I made a few Mom readers laugh. Honestly, I don't mean to make light of how difficult it is for Mums. What I hope to do in the future is get some solid advice from some Mum friends of mine who juggle an assortment of stuff: kids, careers, husbands, in laws, housekeeping AND they maintain a healthy food and active lifestyle and write some future posts either with them or on their behalf. I hope this was helpful.

Melody

Resources Ive used: Scripture and Prayer

I know this is a bit of a sensitive topic for Christians and Non Christians alike but I'd like to make a case for why healthy eating and exercise is as much a form of spiritual discipline and worship as any other activity we do. 

In the secular world, Christians are typically known for what we don't do with our bodies, particularly in regards to sex (which is a convoluted issue anyway). But what about food? What about exercise? We look to the bible as the word of God, we look to Jesus as our ultimate model and his followers as forefathers and mothers in the faith. What did they do?

When I first started thinking about losing weight I spent time mulling over the theology of it and praying about the matter. I wanted to make sure I was doing it as a form of honoring God and not myself. The physical reward of losing weight often feeds a kind of self love that is not remotely helpful and more often sinful ie "It was MY good works that got me into shape." I was well aware that here in Western culture, exercise and food can become a religion (and for a lot of people it is) and the gym is often the church of a different kind of disciple. Don't get me wrong, Im not saying Im perfect with this for gyms are bad (they're not), Im just letting you know that theres a flip side and to consider this before jumping in. I did not want my efforts to be more healthy become a higher priority than my relationship with Jesus.

Things I prayed about for myself:

• That I would have a deeper understanding of the worth of my physical body, in Christ sacrificing his. (1 Cor 6:20)
• That my body was made by God, that by being born again now houses the Holy Spirit and as a result belongs to God and not myself. (Psa 139:13, 1 Cor 6:19).
• That I would grow in the fruit of the Spirit, in particular, self control when it came to what I put in my mouth. (Gal 5:22)
• That I would not be controlled by legalism in regards to food/drink. (Matt 23:23, Rom 14:3).
• That my eating or drinking would not cause anyone to stumble in their faith or be discouraged. (1 Cor 8:9).
• That in my eating/drinking, I would be a role model to others. (Prov 31:11, 1 Tim 3:11, 4:12, Titus 2:3).
• That my eating and drinking, would be for the glory of God. (1 Cor 10:31)
• That I would acknowledge and participate in joyful Christ centred feasting as well as fasting (and that any fasting would be not remotely with the intention of weight loss). (Luke 9:16-17, Ecc 3:13, Neh 8:10, Matt 4:2, Luke 5:33-34).

In particular there was one writer who particularly impressed a number of thoughts for me to consider - Elizabeth Elliot, in her book "Discipline: The Glad Surrender." Before this book, I had actually never heard of this lady. Id heard of her husband (Jim Elliot) but I had no idea how prolific she was as a speaker and writer. In the chapter (The Discipline of the Body, pg 44) she makes a number of excellent points:

 

"Discipline, for a Christian, begins with the body. We have only one. It is this body that is the primary material given to us for sacrifice. If we didn't have this, we wouldn't have anything. We are meant to present it, offer it up, give it unconditionally to God for his purposes."

"More spiritual failure is due, I believe, to this cause than any other: the failure to recognise this living body as having anything to do with worship or holy sacrifice. This body is, quite simply, the starting place. Failure here is failure everywhere else."

"It is significant that only 10% of our nation's top executives are overweight. This seems to me to indicate that few men who have not succeeded in curbing the appetite will make it to the top. Physical restraint is basic to power. They do it for power in this world. We do it for power in another."

"Gluttony, one of the more obvious modern sins, is generally tacitly accepted. Little is said about it from the pulpit. It is too embarrassing; it gets down too close to where the people, including the preacher, live. No one who is overweight dares preach about it - he has no room to talk... While a very small percentage of people are overweight for physiological reasons, the vast majority simply eat too much of the wrong things."

"Many a Christian has found the hardly hoped for strength of the Lord when bringing to Him some very real, very difficult physical need. If weight has literally become a 'burden', why should we not bring it to the Lord and ask his help in overcoming it? Can my will not cooperate with His in this matter as in spiritual matters?"

Shes very blunt, and the book is a bit old school and some comments of hers may raise a few eyebrows but I think think its a good read. I appreciate authors who annoy me at least a little bit because their comments make me think hard. For me personally, her tone really helped me a ton. Maybe its because of my blunt personality, but soft, buttery, faux encouraging hyper spiritual "you're a snowflake" type words, honestly they make me yawn. I feel Westerners for the most part are addicted to pithy encouragement to the point, that it often now does nothing to us changing our habits. There are times when encouraging words are needed and there are times when hard convicting words are needed. When it comes to Elizabeth Elliot, if you don't want to be convicted, don't read her books. 

There's another book in particular I hope to obtain and read at some point, and perhaps share in the future: 'Every body matters' by Gary Thomas. He's the author who wrote the well known marriage book 'Sacred Marriage.' Clink on the link and have a read of the blurb on Amazon. He does an excellent job of connecting and discussing how we use our bodies (in particular getting fit and healthy) with scripture. I think its cool that hes also teaching pastor who also runs marathons. Heres a great video of one of his talks:

I'd like to finish this post with some basic points. If you're a Christian, please don't think of your health, your food, your body as separate from your worship. If you're not a Christian, or not spiritually minded for that matter, please at least consider your physical health along side your emotional and mental health. Everyone knows that good physical health (biochemically and neurologically speaking) is correlated with good mental health. Take a pointer from my favorite blonde lawyer:

Resources Ive used: My Mum & Grandparents

My Mum doesn't know how much she has helped me in my weight loss journey. She hasn't helped me directly per say but there is a number of things she has done for me and with me throughout my life that has contributed to my knowledge and understanding of healthy eating, exercise and living. Im aware that not everyone has has experienced the same benefits. There are certain skills that I have because my Mum deliberately and actively taught them to me long before I was even a teenager. When I have told others about my upbringing (the good and best parts, not the nasty parts) I still typically get raised eyebrows and comments like , "Wow, I wouldn't do that to my kids, you gotta let kids be kids!" As if I was somehow deprived of my childhood because I was taught adult life skills in childhood. I wasn't deprived, I was prepared!

I have no regrets. Im sure my Mum has no regrets. Let me explain:

- By age 5, Mum taught me how to use the stove top oven and make pikelets (mini pancakes) with supervision. Every time she baked (which was typically weekly) my brother and I were always somehow involved. The reward was getting to lick the hand beater or eat the leftover icing! From a young age, being involved in the kitchen was fun.

- By age 10, I had been taught and was expected to pick, peel, cut, boil, stir fry, stew every fruit and vegetable you could think of. If my brother and I dared to stupidly say out aloud "Im bored" you can be sure in 2 seconds you'd had a giant bowl of potatoes put in front of you to peel. Cooking starch (potatoes, pasta etc) was probably the first independent cooking task I did without supervision. And we did it constantly. It was simple and it was easy and Mum trusted us to get it done. If I didn't do it, it meant dinner or lunch was delayed and no one likes delayed meals.

- Everyone in our family cooked and I got to watch and participate with everyone. Growing and collecting and cooking food and eating was such a huge part of our lives. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents at the family bach. My Pop (grandfather) kept fruit trees, chickens, pet rabbits, giant compost bins and most of all a giant vegetable garden. Even my Mum as a single parent on an extremely low income kept a vegetable garden, and later a giant vegetable garden when she remarried. Everything I ate, I knew where it came from. I knew the meat on my plate came from live animals and it never occurred to me to be weirded out by that. We never treated the chickens as pets, more as loud annoying livestock. Although most meals were planned and put together by my Mum or Grandmother, I still observed my Pop cooking his interesting meals - usually a mash of sorts (he loved keeping his leftovers in a giant mason jar). Unbeknownst to me, my biological father was also a trained chef (I grew up not knowing him). For all his flaws and issues, the one thing my family agreed on, his food was amazing and I discovered this when I finally met him and it was cooking and growing food that gave us something to enjoy together. My brother also eventually trained as an Army chef and is an amazing cook. I knew which family members cooked what the best. My grandmother made the best vegetable and barley soup. She always served salad with this delicious condensed milk dressing. My Mum made the best chocolate and courgette/zucchini cake and chilli beans (seriosuly its the best). Recipes to this day I can make blindfolded. Im aware that even though we were not financially rich, I was rich in my upbringing. I was rich in having so many wonderfully loving family members who taught me how to appreciate and joyfully eat good food with zero guilt. For sure we had treats. But most if not all baking was done by scratch. A wonderful treat was eating fish n chips at the park or beach or my grandmother giving my brother and I 80c to buy a popsicle at the dairy. 

- By the time I was 14 I was cooking dinners and regularly baking something either to give my Mum a break or because she was working (she worked shift work as a nurse). My brother was expected to cook as well, AND all clean up was done by us regardless if we cooked or not. All dishes had to be done immediately after dinner, and yes by hand. My Mum didn't buy a dishwasher til I moved to college. The only thing I didn't appreciate during this time period was that my (now ex) step father (being a giant sexist misogynist) increasingly expected me to be a household replacement of my Mum and he considered cooking and housekeeping "women's work." This was NOT the attitude my Mum and Grandparents raised me and my brother and I knew it, but at the time I went along with the system because frankly, I was terrified of him and punishment was severe if I didn't do it. Besides whenever he did cook (which was rare), his food was disgusting. So if I had to cook food myself to avoid his food, fine by me. Despite his attitude, I kept cooking because I genuinely enjoyed it not because he expected it of me as a female. By the time I moved out at 18, cooking and all the housekeeping that goes along with it was such a part of my life that it has never to this day stressed me out. No matter how poor I got in university or early on in my marriage, no matter what lack of ingredients I had, cooking was easy and relaxing. Trying new recipes and new ways of cooking was fun for me. 

- So Ive talked about food a lot, but not about exercise. My Mum would tell you, right off the bat that she hates what anyone would call "exercising" and she never failed to tell us growing that she deliberately avoided sports and PE at school. My brother and I grew up loving physical activity and trying out sports and Mum would say she had no idea where it came from (my father wasn't particularly fond of sports etc either apparently). But she always encouraged and supported us in our pursuits. We had basketballs, tennis racquets, rollerblades, hoola hoops, hockey sticks, skipping ropes. I even had a pogo stick at one point. My brother and I both had bikes and went everywhere on them. Whatever we wanted to try out, she let us and encouraged us. I tried and failed gymnastics (meh). My brother tried soccer (meh). We both knew how to play cricket, rugby and netball (thats a given for any Kiwi kid). We were both expected to be outside of the house as much as possible either playing or doing something productive. One of the best things about my Mum is that she encouraged us to explore. Exercise can be made incredibly easy and fun if you turn it into exploring. Despite her distaste for sports, Mum loved and still loves hiking. Her idea of a good time was packing enough food for a day and driving my brother and I somewhere random and making us hike for hours on end in order to "have an explore around."  And at the end of the day we'd stop at a dairy on the way home and she'd buy us an ice cream. I didn't know she got it from a book but when I was really little she would excitedly recite "Im going on a bear hunt.." to us whenever we went for walks. Its now a family legend that there was a local bear that lived near our bach. As we got older, the hikes got steeper and the day trips more remote. We eventually learned that the worse things got at home (between my Mum and her husband) the more hikes and day trips we three went on. I learned from Mum that during great grief and stress, one went for a walk/hike. She taught us to love and appreciate nature, to smell the smells, get our feet wet in rivers and beaches, to pick up and inspect interesting looking rocks and bugs, to keep going in order to see whats around the next corner. She also allowed us to explore on our own, to travel on our own, use transit on our own - long lengthy hours - without a cellphone! She held us to very high behavioral standards but in turn Mum gave us a huge amount of freedom and allowed us to think for ourselves. In turn I have always trusted her and knew unconditionally that she was my best friend and a good parent. Mum also modeled exercise in nature as a form of spiritual worship. We were raised Christian and most often during a walk with Mum I would see and hear her unashamedly pray out aloud. Whether for herself or for us or some other situation. I witnessed joyful singing and sorrowful praying - most often in the woods or hills. What I saw modeled was a woman who deeply loved the Creator by often walking in His creation and enjoying it.

In closing, let me share this:

Having healthy habits can be self learned in adulthood, but its blimin hard compared to the skills you learn almost by osmosis in childhood. Im well aware of the skill set I got from my Mum and Grandparent's that made heading into attempting to lose weight that much easier. That's not to say I also didn't pick up habits from them that I had to unlearn as well. Home Economics and Nutrition is incredibly helpful to learn for both boys and girls, women and men, but I frankly didn't need to learn them in a traditional school setting because I got that education at home. Many people didn't get that blessing. Im noticing its completely normative for young people here in Canada to head off to college with pre university academics and intellectualism but zero life skills with cooking and organising a kitchen. Isn't that a shame? We're wondering why theres awful nutrition and obesity rates in the West, despite the fact we're the ones with the most and best access to food and education. 

And before all the feminists get their knickers in a twist I have to say, these skills HAVE to be taught at home. Doesn't matter if its the Dad or the Mum doing the teaching. If I had grown up with my father in my life I'd bet my cooking skills would have been a 50/50 influence by both parents, but he wasn't in my life so it came from my Mum and Grandmother. I'll bet my brother's kids will likely be taught to cook by him. If and when I have kids, the teaching will most likely come from me, but I'll leave the baking to my husband because thats what he enjoys doing. But for the vast majority of us, the food we learn will still most likely be learned from our Mums and Grandmothers. If you don't like that, get over it. And as a woman, I can't think of a more lovely, precious, bonding experience with the women in my family than learning recipes handed down. In many cultures these recipes are proudly and closely held secrets shared from mother to daughter.  But at the end of the day, eating and cooking is not a women's thing, its a human thing. We all need to eat therefore we should all know how to cook. I think there would be much less panic, misinformation, confusion, yo yo dieting, stupid food "trends" and myths if people were taught at a younger age common sense in eating, cooking skills and learned that exercise can be stress relieving, relaxing and fun and not punishment for their food "sins." 

If you did not grow up in a home where cooking and nutrition was taught well then my hope is that this blog would at least get you in the right direction in your proactive pursuit in your adult life no matter how early or late you entered into the fray.

Resources Ive used: My GP

This seems annoyingly obvious.
How many times have you seen a product on tv that supposedly changes or affects you physically and at the very end the voice over person quickly says "Please consult your Doctor before doing this etc etc.."

Why do we not ever bother to get our bodies checked out by the people who sacrificed the most to know the most about my body? Honestly, people theres only two types of humans in the world - male and female. Doctors have seen multiple versions of me over and over again. Even as an occupational therapist, Ive seen enough bottoms and private parts to last me a lifetime that honestly, whenever I see body parts now, I'm now completely emotionless and objective. Its just another body.

It seems like me and everyone I know don't often bother getting our bodies looked at until we are in severe enough stress or pain that we care about the pain ending more than our embarrassment in being looked at. 

My weight loss journey started with me not getting pregnant. Not getting pregnant really pissed me off. And four years on, it started to become quite distressing. Why was I, a healthy'ish woman in her 20s not getting pregnant?! This is the prime of my fertile years! Actively seeking it! So I went and saw my GP, was like "What is wrong??!! Why aren't I getting pregnant?!" He was as perplexed as I was but he did the good Doctor thing and did what they do best, he made me do every medical test he could think of. And as I was walking out of his office he said, "By the way, you really ought to consider losing weight. You're very overweight, and you're only 27. If you did somehow get pregnant this could be negatively impacting your chances of keeping a pregnancy." I was like: "Aye aye Captain! *Salute."

One of the tests was actually just numerous blood tests. In doing those blood tests I was told my thyroid had almost hit rock bottom which in turn was screwing up my menstrual cycle like a rollercoaster. Doctor asked me, "Have you been under any stress lately? Does your Mom have thyroid issues? It oftens runs from mothers to daughters.." Yes, Ive been under significant stress. And Id say a good portion of the stress put on me early in life was the same stress that my Mum had that screwed up her thyroid. So yes, I have been stressed over a long portion of my life, isn't that normal? Turns out its not. The thyroid pretty much looks after and regulates hormones in your body ie the kind that tell your ovum to make eggs or your breasts to make milk. It also affects your metabolism. So in a nutshell, it was a contributing factor to my being overweight AND infertility.

So he put me on a graduated dosage of a thyroid replacement medication that I now have to take for the rest of my life. I asked Doc why my dosage had to be so darn high and was there anyway I could decrease it at some point? Answer: "Yeah, lose weight." 
Such refreshing brevity and bluntness. 

So I started on thyroid medication around October 2016 and finally came to an appropriate dosage around January 2017 and actively sought to lose weight at the same time. Now I don't know if maybe I pushed harder to lose weight this time or if the thyroid meds helped. I think it helped. I noticed I was starting to sleep better, my menstrual cycle was becoming more "normal", I was noticing I was less panicky about stuff and I especially noticed I was having less chest pain (which had previously occurred during panic attacks). It certainly didn't ease my grief over my infertility. The difference was this: I have been for the past decade, struggling to ever lose more than 5kg. For some reason I'd lose a bit of weight, and it would bounce back on at the 5kg point. Being on the medication I noticed a very slow weight loss occur. Usually by a few 100g at a time. When I first started, I was focused solely on my eating and wasn't remotely doing any extra exercise other than what I was typically doing (eg the odd walk/hike on a weekend). The big kahuna was this: I broke the 5kg loss barrier and gradually kept losing more. By May 2017, I was now incorporating high intensity interval training (HIIT) on elliptical and treadmill machines 1-2x per week along side using the MyFitnessPal app and the Bob Harper 'Skinny Rules.' And I started shedding weight like crazy but in an overall consistent way. Not in huge amounts but lets just say I was consistently losing weight EVERY week ranging from 500g/1lb to 2kg/4lb per week. By the end of May I had taught myself to run non stop on a treadmill for 20 minutes and by early June I was running short distances outside (1-2km). From January 2017 to the beginning of July 2017 I had lost a total of 12kg/26lb.  

My big point Im trying to make here is one that some might not agree with - 

1. My Doctor told me I was overweight and
2. I should not be overweight.

My Doctor was doing his job. He did not call me "fat." He did not call me or imply to me that I was or have been "lazy." He did not berate me in the first place for being overweight as if it affected my cognition. He just stated the facts matter of factly, though I imagine it was rather uncomfortable for him to say so. I also appreciate that my GP is South African not Canadian. Canadian GPs are great but the whole being polite is taken to such degrees here that I think that people here are terrified of speaking the truth in case it offends someone. Bluntness of speech is something I think New Zealanders share with our South African friends. The cultures are very similar. Second of all, I have a very good relationship with my GP. And as one health professional to another I trust his expertise and his objectivity. Im not his daughter, hes not my Dad, this is not personal, this is not subjective. Like me I also acknowledge he does not know everything medically related on the face of the earth. Its incredibly unfair to put a GP on a God like pedestal because if I do that he WILL let me down. The mark of a good Doctor, is not that they know everything but that they talk and discuss your treatment plan with the right people ie specialists. My GP got the ball rolling, got me on my thyroid meds and passed me and my husband onto respective fertility Doctors. Most of all my Doctor acted in my best interests as my Doctor not as some cushy friend trying to make me feel better. If in the future I got cancer Id damned hope he would straight up tell me Ive got cancer, regardless if I break down and cry. So Im very appreciative he had the common sense and guts in this politically correct world to tell me to lose weight regardless of my feelings.

In closing I might add this, its almost February 2018. My period was recently late for the first time in over a year. The last time that happened my thyroid was out of wack. But Ive been conscientiously taking my 125mg pill every morning. I booked myself another blood test a week from now and Im hopeful the new results show I can be allowed to decrease my dosage. Fingers crossed!

If you're trying and failing to lose weight, go see your Doctor, you never know what might be going on in your body that perhaps it would be helpful to know. Sooner rather than later.. In hindsight, witnessing my Mum go through her thyroid issues and surgery in my teens should have been a stern warning to me. I should have had my thyroid checked while I was in university. Shoulda coulda woulda.

Resources Ive read: "Skinny Rules"

First off, this is a really unfortunate name for an otherwise great book and resource that has helped me a ton. A part of me wonders if Harper's editor chose this title in order to accommodate an American audience obsessed with appearances more than health. I don't agree with what "skinny" implies. I don't think that skinny equals health. There are many skinny people out there in the world who have awful nutrition habits. And I'd also like to say that this book is vastly different to his other book: "Jumpstart to skinny" which I definitely DON'T LIKE. As a resource as that book encourages severe calorie restrictions for a get skinny in 3 months kind of blah.

That said, I want to share the better points of this book. So lets ignore the title and look at the content.

First of all, some of you may know Mr. Harper as being one of the trainers from "The Biggest Loser." I don't remotely care about that show, but I'm sure my Kiwi friends and family may go "Oh yeah, thats where I know him from.."

Second of all, I disagree with his statement of "non-negotiable." Of course they're negotiable! Now if you are super self controlled and want to lose 20kg like me but in half the amount of time I took (a year), be my guest and treat his rules as non negotiable. But I knew myself. And part of the rule of successful weight loss is that the goals are SMART (Simple, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Timed). To me, following his rules rigidly was just not realistic. I found them all helpful, but because I had so many bad habits to break and his book described 20 "rules" I knew it would take me a while. So what I did is, I just started working on 1-3 rules, slowly incorporating them into my meal planning. As I got better or more consistent at one, I would pick another "rule" to work on. And I was NEVER perfect. And Im totally ok with that. 

The rules:

I know what you're thinking right, too many rules!!

But actually, I found that this guideline (I like that phrase better than 'rules') complimented what I was trying to achieve with my MyFitnessPal app. 

In his book he spends a chapter discussing each rule and justifying its use. I'll leave it up to you to read the book to find out more. If you know me personally, you can borrow a copy from me.

A few things I took away from this book:

1. I didn't drink water before every meal. But I did buy a 1L water bottle and drink my way through it throughout my day (plus more if I worked out that day). I typically keep it on me at all times at work and at home so that its the first drink I reach for when Im thirsty rather than tea or coffee which I also love to drink. I think the primary rule should be prioritizing water consumption over other fluids as it is the most hydrating for us and best drink for weightloss.

2. Not drinking my calories. For me, an old habit would be those Starbucks frappecino drinks as well as general soda/fizzy drink consumption. Even a latte has calories. Having worked for Starbucks (a great company fyi), but honestly, most people have no idea the gigantic amount of sugar is in those drinks esp the Christmas/Thanksgiving themed drinks. But I continue to drink coffee incl lattes. Now I just ask only for a tall/small with non fat milk. And I literally measure my sugar. 1 tsp/1packet. I also drink a beer or cocktail if Im out on date night with the hubby. That said, I can probably count on one hand the amount of alcohol beverages Ive had this year so I treat them as a treat. 

3. Eating protein. This was a bit more new to me. Introducing more forms of protein to my diet became rather essential and now I love it. Protein IS what keeps me full way more effectively than carbs. This meant I started eating more beans, egg whites, protein powders, low fat dairy, red meat, white meat, nuts and seeds.  

4. Replacing High GI carbs with Low GI carbs. For example, substituting refined wheat products with other grains like rye, quinoa, brown rice, barley. And even trying out stuff like buckwheat groats and millet. Even so, I still love bread AND continue to eat bread. My Mum never allowed me to eat white bread growing up (or as she called it "sugar bread"). We always ate plain regular ol brown wheat bread (crusts always included). I do this and it seems to work. And I love toast. Maybe its the crunchiness of it..

5. "No carbs after lunch." THIS was probably the newest and craziest change Id ever done to my diet and I rechon its helped with my weightloss a TON. Like I said earlier, Im not perfect at this. And I generally put this rule on the shelf when Im eating at a friends house and I know they've made a lovely meal. The last thing I want to do is hurt peoples feelings, insult the cook, and be that annoying person who makes food demands not because of allergies but just preference. We all hate that person. If I get a ton of mashed potato on my plate put there by someone else, I'll likely only eat half to a quarter of it and just focus on my meat and veg. Not eating carbs after lunch is and continues to be difficult. But its working now. North American/Western dinners are heavily dependant on carbs as the main feature of the meal. Remove it and people tend to scratch their heads. One thing I noticed about not eating carbs after lunch is this - I stopped feeling bloated after dinner AND prior to breakfast. I actually started feeling hungry for a more hearty protein/carb based breakfast. AND, I started sleeping better with (excuse me) less gas at bedtime. My dietitian friend at work pointed out to me this carb fact - its needed and appropriate for consumption for energy. So if we're getting home from work, eating dinner then typically just resting in front of the tv or reading a book or other sedentary activity, why eat carbs? Its not needed. If I do have high physical activity in the evenings as my husband sometimes does in his work then yes, carbs are needed. If Im doing a 3-6 day hiking trip then damn yes you should eat carbs at every meal during that trip what with the huge amount of kilojoules one is expending. Eat the food for your activity level. I work primarily in an office at my desk. I only work out about 3x per week. So for me, cutting out carbs after lunch made sense.

6. "Go to bed hungry." I admit, this is head scratching. I honestly don't think he means, attempting sleep with a horribly grouchy stomach. If you're eating the correct amount of veg and protein for dinner, a grouchy stomach shouldnt be occurring in the first place. For me I took this to mean, no snacking or eating extra food after 8pm. No midnight desserts either. I know Nigella Lawson does it. She can afford lipo or a personal trainer, you probably can't. A few times I did go to bed with my stomach mildly growling somewhat as an experiment. You know what happened? I fell asleep and forgot about it. My stomach then started promptly waking me up at 6:30am every day for food like a natural alarm clock. And hunger is a great motivator for getting out of bed.

7. The recipes. Frankly, I found them... Boring. Helpful if you need some easy ideas to follow in following the "rules" but with google and some know how, its easy to follow the rules without his meal plans. I found it terribly boring! No spices, no flavours! Enough brown rice and plain chicken to bore anyone to death! I found Middle Eastern and South East Asian recipes were really helpful in maintaining my adherance to those rules as well as enjoying some amazing foods and flavours.

I only went over a couple of these rules. I know some people may or may not like the "rules" but I found it helpful more as a general guideline to tweak where I chose rather than as a rigid system. Am I aiming to lose weight? Yes, definitetly. Am I aiming to get Hollywood's definition of skinny? Not really. The book has a sucky title but I think his advice is very solid and overall very helpful. 

See ya!

Melody

Resources Ive Used: MyFitnessPal

Most people who have at least attempted weight loss have probably heard of this tool/app.
It was designed and run by the fantastic people at Under Armour, a relatively newish sportswear company. 

 

MyFitnessPal primarily works as an app on your apple or android smart phone. It is primarily and essentially a calorie counting tool. In the past, calorie counting was extremely difficult to do without any app involvement. You were pretty dependant on these little but fat books you'd get out of the library that had calorie and nutritional info on foods incl the more common fast food type stuff. But restaurant food? Forget it. 

Calorie counting is drudgery BUT, MyFitnessPal I think has gone to a lot of effort to make it as effortless as possible. The perks:

- The barcode scanner. The app has the ability to scan and input into your meals plan pretty much any food with a barcode. And Im betting most foods in your pantry have a barcode. So this is helpful.

- The search engine is gigantic. Its like google pretty much. So even if it doesn't have a barcode you can get pretty specific on things even if its quite an unknown food item that you can only get in say New Zealand. You can also type in variations of common franchise foods. For example, I love the Bagel BELT sandwiches from Tim Hortons (a Canadian version of Dunkin Donuts). However, I like to frequently ask them to omit the processed cheese from the sandwich (in doing so, I half the sodium content of my breakfast). The app has a "Tim Hortons Bagel BELT w no cheese". Helpful or what?! Without this app I would have had to look up all the individual ingredients, input all of them individually, then manually remove the cheese, IF and only IF, Tim Hortons was kind enough to make the ingredient and quantity list available on their website or nutrition broshures. That is WAY too much work. Luckily I don't have to do it. 

- MyFitnessPal is a tool more than an actual program. Theres no person pointing a finger at you to do this or don't do that. It accomodates YOUR goals, your needs, your dietary pursuits. If you want to go hard core raw vegan food only, the app will help you. Want to go Atkins? Keto? No carb? Paleo? It will help you. What the app does NOT support is fasting or starvation methods. When you join the app, you put in your activity level, your weight, your height, your goals and it will calculate for you your meal/day calorie amounts and not only that but the individual nutritional needs for each meal. So you will be given a set goal amount of protein, fats, carbs/fiber, sugar, sodium, vits/mins to achieve each day. The app will start warning you in red font for example if you input food that is going over your sugar amount for example. If you need accountability to not just be using calories but also filling up on appropriate food, this is quite helpful. Getting back to the fasting thing, if you attempt to fast a meal and then try to save your day's amount, it willl not allow you to save. 

- It provides more than just food calorie counting. Theres online communities to join. Exercise ideas to read about, injury prevention articles, food posts, recipe posts, cool success stories to motivate you. You can 'follow' people and if you are friends you can see other peoples food, exercise and recipe entries. 

- You can connect up your pedometer/exercise wristbands (and that includes ANY brand) but most people use nike watches or fitbits.

The down side:

- Its not the app, but you. Like anything that requires effort, it must all come from you. Don't worry, its quite common to fall off the wagon, but get back on as quickly as possible! It took me two goes to be a consistent, regular user of the app. The key to using MyFitnessPal well and with success is if you are consistent and most of all honest. Don't lie on your food diary!! Just put it in, view the nutrition of those burgers and fries, learn a lesson and move on! Lastly, you HAVE to get organised with your planning. Its tricky at the beginning but eventually you'll become a person of habit and you'll notice that you have these favorite meal recipes you go back to and if you use the 'saved recipe' component on the app, meal times will soon be super easy.

- People who don't use the app will think you've become obsessive. I know I got a few concerned comments from the hubby about all the weighing of food I was doing that hinted to me that he was concerned. I just reassured him of my intentions for healthy living and ensured him his concern was appreciated but not necessary. You're the one doing all the effort, not them. Just don't get all preachy about what other people are cooking or eating. Keep your head down and focus on just YOUR habits not those of others or you'll get retaliation from family and friends and no one will want to eat around you. Please don't be that person. Be humble, be quiet about what you're doing and preferably keep what you're doing to yourself unless someone is genuinely curious. Let your actions speak louder than your words. Hubby used to roll his eyes at me as I calorie counted our date night food at whatever restaurant we were eating. Eight months later, now he occasionally does it. Ha!

Tips:

- Start off by weighing everything either in grams or ounces. One of the biggest things about this program that helped me was that it helped me realise how my portions were WAY to big. Sticking to your recommended nutrition goals by weighing your food will help with this. Don't use measuring cup to measure as it doesnt take into consideration the type of food. Preferably use weight not size as it is more truthful. I have a small glass scale I keep within reach in my kitchen to help me with this. After a while, if you're at a friends house for example and you're wondering how to input the food that they made, you can just eyeball the meat/carb/veg portion given to you and make a good guess. Its better to input something rather than nothing!

For me, this app has helped me majorly in seeing how much and what kinds of innappropriate foods I was eating. I was brutally honest in my food inputting at the beginning and I learned very quickly I had developed a horrible habit of eating fast food too frequently for breakfast, I was consuming quadruple the amount of sugar I should have been eating, I was then overeating at dinners and lunches and church functions and failing to listen to the responses of my own body. And just so you know, one year on, I still use the app. My user name (if you want to add me as a friend): kiwiOT.

Before I end this post let me provide some links below that you can visit that show you tips, tricks and hacks to use the app to the fullest that I found super helpful. And just so you know, I have no affiliations with the app, nor do I get money for typing this post. Im just a fan and a user thats all.

Give it a go!

Melody 

10 insider tips for MyFitnessPal newbies
9 Habits successful MyFitnessPal users swear by
5 features you didnt know about MyFitnessPal

About Me

Hi, Im Melody!

Im 29 years old, I’m from Christchurch, New Zealand. I currently live in Vancouver, Canada with my husband. On November 24^th 2016 I was on holiday with my Mum at the most gorgeous beach in New Zealand (Kaiteriteri). We took pics of each other and at the time I was happy, I had a pretty good self-esteem, I was with one of my most favourite people in the world.  Then I took a good look at the same picture later that day and quietly my jaw dropped and I felt deeply saddened.

What on earth had happened to my body???

I was 95.5 kg (210.3lb) and 27 years old. I was deliberately buying bigger and baggier clothes in order to disguise my increasing size. I was honestly quite apathetic about my weight. Generally assuming that what I was eating and how much was perfectly fine. I thought I led a pretty ‘active’ life. I preferred stairs to elevators and I loved to eat fruit and vegetables. I was also incredibly blessed in that my husband was the least shallow person on the planet and had fallen in love in with me and continued to love and respect me even as I gained more weight.

The wake up call(s).

-       - THAT picture.

-       - My husband and I can’t get pregnant due to infertility (low sperm count and thyroid issues).

-       - People frequently coming up to me and either commenting or patting my stomach and asking when my ‘baby’ was due.

-       - Hubby and I at that time had applied for international adoption. I was told I was on “the cusp of the failing” the BMI test of the country we were seeking to apply to. My weight had officially become a barrier to being a Mum.

-       - While getting a physical done at my Doctors office, looking at his stern but kind face and being told simply “You’re overweight. You shouldn’t be this size at 27.” 

      Its been a year now. A lot of things have happened. We pursued adoption passionately, vigorously, seriously. Much like being pregnant I suppose, we were giddy with excitement, longing and expectation. I discovered an untapped never-ending source of motivation to eat better and exercise – hopeful motherhood. It was agonising to not have the blessing of pregnancy happen to me. I wanted people to ask me if I was pregnant and actually BE pregnant. I had to grieve and hopefully get over that desire in a way and my way of doing it was telling myself – “Well if I can’t gain baby weight I can sure as hell lose weight for this living child. That child deserves a healthy Mum.” My friends who have adopted warned me that the worst part of the process was the waiting. Best to give myself something productive to do while we wait.
     
     So I started losing weight.
   
      It wasn’t that easy or that straight forward, but honestly I eventually got there. Im now 73 kg (160lb) and I definitely feel it and can tell the difference in more ways than just the number on the scale. Its taken me a year to get that number and I’m hoping to continue losing more weight or toning up more (either or Im not fussed).
     
      Ive used and continue to use a number of resources and strategies as well as avoided a ton of unhealthy fads out there that I thought perhaps others might want to know about. In the past 2 months in particular, Ive noticed people looking at me and giving me lovely compliments but most of all asking me “What are you doing? What are you eating? How are you exercising? How are you maintaining/sticking with this?”

      I felt over time that I was repeating myself quite a bit in my answers and honestly I was becoming a bit worried that people would only listen to a portion of what I was saying, accidentally take something out of context then go dive into the crazy pool of diet/exercise legalism.

      Despite what people might say, you can’t avoid the issue of motivation and good ol’ fashioned self-control. Shopping and cooking and eating healthy foods can only get you so far. This past June, I  lost it.

      Our adoption agency decided to stop the home study we were doing and cancel their contract with us. For reasons I don’t want to touch on here, other than it had nothing to do with our personalities, background, beliefs or abilities as potential parents. This was absolutely the worst thing that had happened to me in over ten years. The day that happened I understood the term “stabbed in the back.”  I couldn’t breathe properly. I couldn’t smile or laugh or think straight for months. I was in a constant state of grief for an entire month and I emotionally, mentally and spiritually checked out. I wanted no part of my family, friends or work. I wanted to find a hole in the ground and die. Ive never said this out aloud but at one point, I contemplated if my life was even worth living at one point for a few hours, then changed my mind after a conversation with my Mum and she told me “Don’t make any big decisions right now.”

      Interestingly, instead of taking my grief out in a tub of ice cream, I grabbed my hiking boots and continued my passion of hiking trails (except with no passion just morose depressing anger and the need to scream with no one around). This time, deliberately picking and trekking 5-8 hours over steep terrain. On my own. In bear and cougar infested forests of British Columbia ( don't worry I kept pepper spray and a whistle on me). The amount I was exercising had decreased but it was thankfully still occurring. I also continued to run, swim at the local pool or do weight training 1-2 days per week. I discovered, feeling achy bones and muscles, feeling the dribble of sweat down my back and tears down my face while being surrounded by trees, water, dirt, clean air and rock and being alone in it all made me feel… Nothing.

      Feeling nothing felt good.

      Then I’d go home and sleep for nine hours, and that also was good.

      That was five months ago. Im much better now. Still dealing with it but not as severely. Hubby and I are still figuring out things but are doing ok. We grieved in our own way but luckily we remembered to cling to each other in support. We felt like we were the only two people in the world who understood each other. We both eventually reintegrated ourselves back into our community. This topic still hurts. That wound is still there. But Im doing ok so far.

      I don’t want to sound self-pitying or turn this into a big thing on infertility. But losing weight and maintaining weight loss and a pursuing a healthy lifestyle is impacted so much more by the pains in our lives than our joys. During this grief period, my weight graph looked more like a rollercoaster. Lately its started becoming more progressively downward again.

      It’s never simple.

      The last thing I want to mention is this: I did this journey for me and me only. I went into it fully knowing that my husband would likely continue to eat cinnamon buns and fizzy drinks and fast food around me or away from me during work. Of course I am the biggest influence in my husband’s life and I hoped some of what I was doing would rub off and it did in a way but as the saying goes – You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. Some of my eating and healthy habits have slowly but surely made their way into his routine as well but it has been his decision, his doing, not mine. And hes doing it in his own way. We’ve only been married for six years but I already know full well, nagging, controlling and manipulating does not work in the long term. The temptation to be holier than thou with one’s spouse is ever present and occasionally I falter. But as Ive learned also, saying sorry never goes out of style.

      For readers, I want to make this blog honest, straight forward, imperfect, non-photo shopped, encouraging and most of all,
     Hope giving.
    
     Much love,
    
     Melody.